When I was a baby, I was born crying my eyes out and my parents swear that they’d never heard a baby cry as loudly or as frequently as I did. If I wanted something, no matter how big or small, I would let someone know about it. And the truth is I’ve never really stopped being an emotional drama queen throughout my 21 years of life on this planet. The only difference is, instead of being outwardly emotional, as I’ve grown up I’ve learnt to keep my emotions more to myself. It doesn’t mean that they’re not there or I don’t care about things, they’re just hidden and only made visible to people whom I wholeheartedly trust.
From my experience, I’ve found that being overemotional usually works out in my favour. Maybe overemotional is a bad way to put it. It can also be taken as passionate and extremely caring. Honestly, it does have some good and bad side effects.
- I’m a positive person: Because of this quality that I have, I’m often quite a positive person. I see the best in people and situations first and foremost. People and situations are good until proven otherwise. A downside of this is that I can sometimes think that things are better than they actually are despite the screaming signs and obvious clues…ie. I can be a tad delusional.
- It helps with being creative: being quite a creative person having the ability to tap into my emotions on a daily basis is a definite plus!
- I feel A LOT: Ok so I want to go out and have a good time? – I will. I see a really sad video on social media- ok let me just cry in my corner for a good 20 minutes. I can be totally in to do something or I may just want to mope around and be depressed for a bit. Nothing against the people around me, I’m just going to be a bit of a downer for a while.
- I have an opinion on everything: if I say I don’t care, chances are I totally care about it but just don’t have the energy to explain my feelings on the subject. I care about the little and the big things and I tend to overanalyze things.
- I put in 100%: I give a lot. Whether it’s in my academic studies or relationships, I tend to put a lot of work and effort into it. It’s a good thing in some cases but if it’s one-sided or doesn’t pay off, it hurts a lot. Diving in headfirst is always going to be risky business but it’s the rare occasions where it actually works out, when the benefits outweigh the risks which makes it all worth it.
- The highs are higher but the lows are lower: Yes. Because I invest a lot, emotionally and physically in whatever I’m doing, my life can be a strange balance of extremes.
Sometimes I feel that I feel too much but then I think to myself, ‘you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way’. At the end of the day, if I had a choice, I would be an overemotional mess rather than a non-feeling numb robot. Because that would just be boring and no one wants to live a boring life. Like I said, the highs are higher and the lows are lower but I think (for me at least, everyone goes through life differently) that having higher highs makes life so utterly amazing, magical and beautiful when you feel absolutely everything. Don’t get me wrong, the lows absolutely suck and sometimes I wish I didn’t feel so deeply about things. But that’s how I know that I’m truly living my life to the fullest. Even in situations that broke my heart at the time, I always remember most vividly the times that I felt like I could fly, like I was on top of the world. And it is the giving up of those memories that I simply cannot live with.